on finding something to do with myself

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Moving to a new town is never easy. It’s awesome…but not easy. I think the hubs and I have done well with our transition of jungle life in Costa Rica to our new life in beautiful San Diego but it has left both of us wondering what the hell we should be doing with ourselves.

I work…a lot…and I like my job but being back in the service industry is leaving me wanting more from myself. I was wasting hours upon hours doing nothing but playing games on my iPad and iPhone (not while at work of course). I do have a strong lazy tendency but I was just depressing myself…I had totally checked out of reality. I was ignoring my surroundings…I was ignoring my own thoughts…not healthy. I was worried…hell I AM worried that I don’t even know myself anymore.

So the damn games have been deleted.

Now I have to deal with myself. Where in the world do I begin?

“Hi me…I’m you…nice to meet you”

I have nothing to say to myself. We (me and myself) stand around awkwardly waiting for a mutual friend to come stop the discomfort. The problem with that is…I used to really like myself. I think I could again. We just need to reconnect.

I thought maybe a day alone would do it…nope. Maybe a spa day? Nah. Write in a journal…I have nothing to say to me!

I felt like I needed to find a common interest with myself. Jeez…I am dating myself aren’t I? I am trying to convince myself to date me!

Whatever…I took myself out for a fun activity…a weaving class!

Shit I needed this. Last Saturday I attended a beginning weaving class put on by Urban Craft Camp. The class was taught by the amazing and magical Rachel Ehlin-Smith of Mr. Blue Skye at the cutest shop called Teeter located in Pacific Beach. It was amazing. I went alone and was able to do something new and fun along with some amazing women. I met a few beautiful ladies and learned a new craft that I have been happily working on at home. Slowly though…very slowly…I keep second guessing myself.

I took myself out on a date and we had a great time, and now we have a fun hobby to do together.

Maybe getting to know myself is a good idea.

it’s cold in Denver

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How did I forget what cold feels like? This shit is brutal.

It is so nice to be home…or back in Denver anyway. I couldn’t be happier…well…I could be happier if it was warmer but whatever…I’m a whiner.

Christmas is in full swing and I love it. We were able to decorate my Mom’s house and tree with all of the special pieces that I remembered from my childhood. Last year we spent the Holidays in Costa Rica, and although it was beautiful…it’s always beautiful…it certainly didn’t feel like Christmas. Now…it feels like Christmas. Having family and friends around…cool air (who am I kidding…freezing air)…sleeping in…it’s the best.

On Christmas day we (my Mom…but I will try to help) will make homemade cinnamon rolls, a tradition that my Dad started years and years ago, open presents, lay around and hang out before our customary Prime Rib dinner. My Mom is an excellent cook.

5 day countdown

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Our time left in Costa Rica is short and I am flopping back and forth from feeling sad, nervous, and anxious, and then feeling so very excited. It’s confusing me.
This adventure has been incredible…I don’t even know where to begin. We have made some amazing friends and have become so close very quickly. When in a foreign country, with few familiar things, you hold on…tightly…to the friends you make. We have spent holidays with one another, countless dinners, puppy play dates, and let’s not even admit how many boxes of wine we’ve plowed through…it’s been a lot of fun. I am so sad to leave it.

I am nervous about starting again…again. New place, new jobs, new people…new directions…new phone numbers..I just barely memorized my phone number here! Moving the dogs will be stressful for them (and us) and Eddie has never even walked on a sidewalk before…let alone be cold. I keep joking with the Hubs that we are going to have to get him a sweater and booties…that warm jungle blood is going to be in for a shock. Hell…my blood is in for a shock! I get cold when it’s 78 degrees these days…I’m screwed.

I am anxious because…of everything. I’m an anxious person…it is what it is.

But…underneath all of this sad, nervous anxiety lies a huge ball of giddy excitement. We weren’t able to make it back home for the holidays last year so I am thrilled to be spending it with my family…it’ll feel like a real Christmas. We will also be able to see all of our Denver friends whom we adore. I know I have said this before but…we truly have the most amazing friends in the world…the ones in Denver, as well as the ones scattered around the world…we are fucking lucky.

And…furnishing a new home! I love that shit and we have almost nothing…not even a mattress. We do have a lot of sick artwork though…priorities.

New cars!

New shoes! I don’t think my Havianas are gonna cut it in winter.

Lot’s of new stuff and experiences to look forward to…and countless experiences and friendships to look back on.

Let’s do this.